HOW TO START A MINISTRY WITH MEN
HOW TO START A MINISTRY WITH MEN
- 1. Pray for guidance, and that the Lord will help you select a few good men to plan.
- 2. Set a date and Invite these few good men to join you in some prayerful planning.
- 3. Your purpose in this meeting is two fold: First, develop a mission statement or a statement of purpose for having your gathering of men. Keep in mind that this statement should satisfy the question, "why a men's ministry?" Make it a short, simple, and spiritual statement that focuses on growth and God's purpose for men.
- 4. Do you know the art of brainstorming? If you do, you might use it as a means to develop many good ideas. Here is the way it works:
- a. Brainstorming is an exercise of offering all kinds of suggestions (be sure you have someone to write them down; it works best if you write them on some surface that can be seen, for instance, a chalkboard or white marker board-and it should be someone who can write fast). No one is to react to any idea negatively. In other words, if someone says , "Wouldn't it be a good idea to have a skydiver drop in with a special telegram from the governor?," you don't laugh or say, "that's silly" rather, you just keep the ideas flowing. The faster the better, and what happens is very interesting: the imaginative mind seems to come unlocked and a stream of ideas gushes out. Finally, when you have exhausted the bank of ideas and written all of them down, you then review and rank them. Begin to list your favorites. Develop the logistics of just how the idea can work best for your situation. Have a calendar and begin to A Men's Ministry, Page 2 pencilin events on specific dates as a "tentative or first draft" concept. As you finesse your Ideas you will have a whole list of possibilities and then well will never run dry for inspiring things to do.
- b. If you come to a sticky point or have difficulty, simply pause and have prayer. Pray specifically that the Lord will give you ideas which will bless your men and lead them to a realization of their need to grow as Men of God.
- c. When you finish brainstorming be sure to pause and express your gratitude to the Lord for His presence and His gift of ideas.
- 5. Follow whatever means your church uses to carry out its programs. In most cases, that means plans need to be submitted to the church board for approval. The pastor can give guidance regarding what course to take and what he Is comfortable with. In seeking the approval of the board (or whatever authority), be sure to explain the purpose of the men's ministry. The impressions people form will largely be positive If you assure and reassure that the purpose is to help men grow In their roles as husbands, fathers, and pillars of the church.
- 6. Next, have a time on Sabbath morning to make a Special Presentation to the congregation. Start with the mission and purpose. Hand out your calendar of events and make sure that each is well planned.
- 7. Keep it focused on the spiritual goal of making Men of God. Make prayer and the conscious presence of the Lord a real part of each event. Even the recreational and social events should have a rich spiritual ingredient of prayer and Christ-centered conversation. Don't ever take the low road by resorting to gossipy dialogs, or trivial, close-to-edge jokes. Always lead on the high road. A Men's Ministry, Page 3
- Make Christ the unseen guest at every event and verbalize it. Everything under the sun ordained by God, either for our pleasure or inspiration, is an occasion where we can be privileged to have His presence. Therefore, let us practice it, and He will make His presence real in our conversations, our mirth, and all our fellowship. It should be our goal that after every event, each man will leave with a lighter heart, lifted spirits, and fully encouraged by his association to live for Christ in his home and at his work. When a church has a group of men who consistently build each other up in their faith, a bonding of friendship takes place that words cannot describe. Each event, each gathering of men will become like a golden chapter in our memories.
- 8. It is very, very important that men's ministries not become another event that takes men away from their families. In other words, a very positive picture is seen by the wife and the family when there is concrete evidence that the gathering achieved its goal. The man returns home refreshed and recharged to walk as Christ in the presence of his family. The more the family experiences this, the more they are going to appreciate the time he spends away with the men. It's not men away just being boys and having fun, but rather, men who have come together to build better men for the sake of better relationships at home.
- 9. Develop a list of special songs to sing together. You can have a musical person lead out with a guitar, piano, or without accompaniment.But take the time to look up some songs that especially speak to men about consecration, the home, sacrifice, and strength in the Lord. You can write out your own little booklet of songs on a word processor and print them in a neat format for your group.
- 10. Make up a list of Bible promises that pertain to various situations and encourage the men to fortify their hearts and their commitments by memorizing these promises. A Men's Ministry, Page 4
- 11. Have the church purchase a few books each month or as often as possible. These might be books that pertain to the Christian home, worship in the home, marriage, parenting, and any other subject that specifically addresses the concerns of men who are living the new life in Christ. Make sure that the books have been carefully screened and proofread. Have them cataloged and ready to loan to your men. At your gatherings, you might have a brief time for book reports. You could occasionally hold up a book during the announcements or even before a sermon, and make It a regular feature so that your men would be aware of the good books that are available.
- 12. In harmony with No. 11, frequently speak about the holy calling of men as priests of the home. Speak in positive ways of the man preparing himself daily with prayer and Bible study. One minister occasionally calls a man up on the platform during the worship service (having arranged with him beforehand, of course) and In an interesting way interviews him on his method of family worship, and elicits such things as the great blessing worship is to the family. Sometimes a wife can add a lot by simply adding how encouraging and strengthening it has been to the marriage and family since "Jim" has been leading out with worship. Some pastors do this often in conjunction with the children's story. Following the children's story, sometimes a set of parents is called up to the microphone and each offers a short prayer for every home, the school, and each child. The simple, earnest prayer of a mom and a dad can settle a cloud of God's glory on a congregation. Sometimes a set of grandparents, (or just one grandparent) may be invited to come right after the story and read a blessing for the children and each home represented in the congregation. When men come forward and give a testimony of their priestly activities at home it begins to spread throughout the congregation. The more we present to our congregations these witnesses and testimonies, the more compelling it becomes for each man to begin to think about initiating a priestly activity of his own at home. Testimonies can be a powerful force to building godly homes.
- A Men's Ministry, Page 5
- 13. Plan on a weekend camp out just for fathers and kids. Have a team of fathers plan the whole weekend. Have a campfire with lots of great, inspiring stories. Plan during the weekend for a time when each father takes his own child or children for a private hike. Have each father prepare this hike as an event to be remembered for a lifetime. At some point in the hike the father sits down with his children and very thoughtfully shares with them just how much they mean to him, and how much God really loves them. He might talk about the meaning of their name and share some of the feelings he had when they were first born and he looked at them for the first time. Wouldn't it be nice if at this point the father can talk with them about life and death and how Jesus came so that we could just continue our families in heaven and live for eternity.
- Then, as the Holy Spirit leads, talk about both of them (the father and the child, or children), rededicating their hearts to the Lord, and as they hold hands they present a short prayer. We can talk to our children about Disney World, football, the Atlanta Braves, and I am sure with the special help of the Holy Spirit we can have these sacred occasions with our precious possessions-Our very own children. Before this hike takes place, it's a good idea to plan with each father several days beforehand and have some very special prayer times. Also, if the mothers can be in on it, and apprised of the approximate time that this will take place they can be encouraged to be on their knees in prayer for their husbands and children.
- 14. Have a special communion service for your men on a Friday night or early Sabbath morning, or even on a Sunday morning following an Agape (fruit) breakfast. Talk about the significance of submission, discipleship, and the strength of brotherly love. Have larger cups of grape juice, and larger, thicker biscuits of unleavened bread that is literally broken in irregular pieces (no perforations for convenience) Have an old rugged cross set up, and have some very well selected music. Plan carefully for an atmosphere of quiet, non-rushed, (A Men's Ministry, Page 6) contemplative sequence of events. Have the men read Psalms together, and maybe choose some Psalms to be read by one side and then the other (antiphonally). Have a few hymns printed, and sing without accompaniment "Just As I Am," " Not I, But Christ," "Be Thou My Vision," and choose a few that you especially like. At the end you can sing "The Lord's Prayer," or "A Mighty Fortress Is Our God." Invite the men to give a testimony if they would like or share a brief version of their conversion or a memorable experience of when the Lord seemed very close in their lives. You might use the theme of marriage. The scene is the Garden of Eden, and you can read the story of God creating Eve, in Genesis 2:21-25. There may be those who want to share their feelings about their wife or family and express their desire to adorn them with their love. When they wash each others feet ask them to especially pray for each others marriage and family. Have them take the time to share with each other specific burdens relating to the family.
- 15. Some time ago I read about this gift idea. and I thought it might be creatively Incorporated into one of our men's events. Purchase a large enough supply (52 for each man) of large size gelatin empty capsules. You can inform the men that they should bring a certain amount of money to cover the cost of this activity. Have a selection of at least 52 one-liners printed on a sheet of paper such as:
- One night's freedom from dishwashing
- One pizza for the evening of your choice
- One good, long walk together
- One new outfit of your choice
- One new nightgown of my choice
- (A Men's Ministry, Page 7)
- Some just involve time-but each involves togetherness. Be sure you have a sheet with the 52+ one-liners on it and a pair of scissors for each man. Then, each man can choose 52 and roll each one up and insert it into a capsule. Put it in a neat little bottle which should read, RX from Dr " (your name for your wife's name) to prevent dull marriage, take capsule every week for the next year. Half the fun is watching the wife fight off the urge to open all the capsules at once. You might have a certain time each week together when she opens one capsule. You might suggest that each man write up some of his own one-liners. After all, he knows his wife best and he might tailor his treats to the delights that are unique to her.
- Well, these are just a few ideas for getting a meaningful men's ministry going in your church. But please do not delay, get your men started on the upper road to becoming what God wants for them. I like the way Stu Weber puts it:
- Men, you and I need to own for ourselves that same clarity of vision that so marked the life of Christ. We need to give ourselves up for our brides and the Bride as He did. So that the family might live well There's a world out there that needs some Tender Warriors. It's every man's purpose... every woman's dream.., and every child's hope. It's the definition of a man. I want to head up that road. My prayers are with the men of this conference as we plan in our respective churches. I believe God has some wonderful things in store for us and our families that will be the result.
On Solid Ground
Free Bible Charades Game
La Cacería Intelectual
SOMOS NOVIOS
Por: Guillermo Durán
Benjamin miró a Claudia con un dejo de nostalgia. Todo había terminado. Ya no habría más paseos a la luz de la luna, ni largas tertulias en la sala, ni salidas domingueras, ni los momentos en que juntos trataban de estudiar. Acaso nunca más se volcarían el uno al otro para expresarse sus sentimientos. Benjamín sabía que todo iba a fracasar. lo intuyó antes de manifestarle su amor a Claudia, pero se engañó pensando que el amor vencería todos los obstáculos.
¡Habían terminado como novios! Ambos estaban desesperados, se sentían a la vez marcados y decepcionados. ¿Qué harían? Todo había terminado para ellos, su vida amorosa nunca podría reconstituirse...
Así pensaba Benjamín, estudiante, 14 años, y Claudia, estudiante, 13 años.
¿Quién Inventó el Noviazgo?
¿A quién se le habrá ocurrido inventar esta relación que tantos problemas suele traer? Bueno, admitamos que también es muy gratificante y deja excelentes recuerdos. Pero, ¿cómo podemos armonizar ambas cosas?
En algunos pueblos de la antigüedad eran novios aquellas personas cuyos padres comprometían desde niños para ser esposos. También se aplicaba a quienes se prometían mutuamente en matrimonio, previo depósito de una suculenta dote. Además, se llamaba novios a los que contraían enlace o a los recién casados.
El diccionario se encarga de definir el asunto: los novios son personas recién casadas o que mantienen relaciones amorosas con intención de casarse. Etimológicamente, novio es aquel que se va a casar.
Nuestro siglo nos ha enfrentado con muchos problemas que son tan antiguos como el mundo y nos encontramos ante lo que podemos definir inequívocamente como una crisis. Pero el noviazgo es una de las ventajas de nuestra época.
¡Claro que sí!
Tienes la oportunidad de elegir y hacerlo bien, porque gracias al noviazgo puedes:
- Tener un período de exclusividad con una persona para conocerla a fondo. ¡Sí, conocer hasta sus defectos!
- Conocer el porqué de las afinidades y las diferencias, las que cuando eran sólo amigos se explicaban diciendo: "me gusta", "no me gusta".
- Evaluar sinceramente el carácter de tu media naranja, usando la Palabra de Dios para calcular su nivel espiritual y moral.
- Ver si coinciden los objetivos que se han propuesto en la vida.
- Analizar de cerca cuál es su relación con la iglesia y especialmente si comparten una íntima comunión con Dios.
- Profundizar tus afectos con la comunicación y el contacto cotidiano.
- Conocer a la familia, que inevitablemente pasará, si te casas, a ser tu familia.
- Medir verdaderamente el amor con el termómetro de la paciencia, renunciación y el perdón.
- Planificar, ¿por qué no?, qué pasará con los estudios, cómo juntarán dinero para los gastos de¡ hogar, dónde vivirán, si deberán trabajar ambos, y ¡cuántos niños tendrán!
Después de un tiempo estarás en condiciones de tomar una decisión. Si has sido perseverante en la oración y te has dejado orientar por los consejos divinos, podrás decir: "Esta ha de ser mi pareja para toda la vida", o "jamás seremos felices si nos casamos".
Un joven me afirmó que se casaba a pesar de que sabía que su novia tenía grandes defectos y que no congeniaban, sabía que su matrimonio sería un via crucis. ¿Y por qué daba este paso? Porque todos en el barrio, en la iglesia y sus padres mismos no entenderían una ruptura después de cuatro años y medio de noviazgo. Se casaron, y su vaticinio se cumplió. Hoy están separados.
Pero, ¿qué dirá la gente si rompo mi noviazgo? Vuelvo a repetirte, si has sido obediente al Señor y sincero contigo mismo no debe asustarte el terminar una relación cuando todavía es tiempo. Siempre es mejor disolver un mal noviazgo que comenzar un mal matrimonio o terminar en un divorcio. La gente (los vecinos, los hermanos de la iglesia) no se casará contigo ni te resolverá los problemas que surjan en tu matrimonio.
Cuando Prevenir Es Mejor que. . .
"Si tú, hermano mío, te sientes tentado a unir los intereses de tu vida
a una niña joven, sin experiencia, cuya educación en los deberes comunes y prácticos de la vida diaria es verdaderamente deficiente, cometes un error" (Mensajes para los Jóvenes, pág. 435).
Dijimos que novio es alguien que piensa casarse. ¿Puede pensar en casarse alguien que física y emocionalmente no está desarrollado? Seguramente las representantes del sexo "¿débil?" están pensando: "Pero las mujeres maduramos físicamente antes que los hombres. No hay muchos cambios después de los 15 años". Eso es lo que piensan ustedes. Hay muchos cambios más, sobre todo en lo que atañe a nuestra madurez mental. Algunos psicólogos piensan que el joven moderno alcanza su madurez psicológica recién a los treinta años.
¿No sería bueno hacernos algunas preguntas antes de buscar un novio? Por ejemplo:
- ¿Ha madurado nuestra experiencia religiosa?
- ¿Tienes una buena relación con tus padres?
- ¿Te conoces a ti mismo?
- ¿Has definido tu vocación?
- ¿Has madurado emocionalmente?
- ¿Tienes solvencia económica? Si aún no has definido tu relación con Dios no puedes emprender la aventura de buscar a alguien que comparta tu vida, pues con seguridad tampoco sabrás definir tus obligaciones conyugales.
Nadie más interesado en tu felicidad que tus padres. Sus consejos te serán valiosos para elegir tu pareja, sobre todo si han demostrado ser piadosos. Además, nada es peor que pensar en buscar un novio que nos ayude a liberarnos de¡ "yugo" de nuestros progenitores.
Si aún no sabes lo que quieres, o quién eres, no puedes intentar conocer íntimamente a otra persona.
Si tienes una meta en la vida será mucho más fácil conocer y dejarte conocer, y sabrás el tipo de compañía que necesitas.
Es triste descubrir que la mayoría de los jóvenes comienzan un noviazgo cuando aún no pueden superar la crisis de la adolescencia. Frecuentemente encontrarnos parejas hermosas que terminan en el fracaso porque no habían madurado emocionalmente. Muchas "novias" me han expresado su desilusión porque no son tratadas como esperaban, porque su "novio" se comporta con ellas como si fueran muchachos y hasta les han propinado alguna paliza. Esta es una escena frecuente en la pareja de adolescentes que aún no pueden controlarse a sí mismos y parecen (si acaso no lo son) dos niños peleándose por un juguete.
No me interpretes mal, no debes ser rico para casarte, pero tampoco puedes pensar en casarte si no tienes los medios para mantener tu hogar. Y si no vas a casarte pronto, no te
conviene comenzar un noviazgo que dure varios años. (los noviazgos largos no son recomendables. Dos personas genuinamente cristianas pueden conocerse muy bien en dos años y estar listas para contraer matrimonio.) ¡Por favor, no basta el pan y las cebollas ... ! Para casarse se debe tener lo elemental y pensar en vivir independientemente, con entradas propias. Si te pones a sacar cuentas encontrarás que se necesita invertir bastante dinero.
El Fracaso y la Presión Social
Una revista femenina publicó recientemente una encuesta a 276 matrimonios de 25 a 35 años. De ellos sólo 3 matrimonios resultaron del primer noviazgo. Para 15 personas su cónyuge fue el primer novio/a. Y en el resto, todos habían fracasado en su primer intento, y muchos aún en el segundo y el tercero. Sin embargo, todos recordaban con cariño su "primer amor".
¿Era preciso pasar por esta experiencia o fracaso? la respuesta necesariamente es no. De ningún modo un joven cristiano tiene que recibir un golpe tal en la vida. Basta con sólo analizar cuidadosamente los puntos antes mencionados que nos darán un reflejo fiel de dónde estamos parados.
"Deberían mantenerse sujetos los afectos juveniles hasta que llegue el tiempo en que la edad y la experiencia suficientes, permitan libertarlos con honra y seguridad" (ibíd., pág. 449).
Si sólo te detienes a pensar, te percatarás de que quien se pone tempranamente de novio no tiene la oportunidad de disfrutar plenamente su juventud con la gente de su edad. Generalmente el noviazgo se plantea como una relación exclusiva y quienes están de novios deben dedicarse cierto tiempo a diario, lo que les impide participar de distintas actividades en grupo.
El joven que aprovecha esa etapa de la vida buscando amigos y actividades que llenen su tiempo libre, llega al noviazgo contento pues no sólo ha gozado su juventud sino que también ha tenido la oportunidad de elegir entre muchos amigos, a aquel que puede ser su pareja.
¡Y qué ventajas tiene! Conoce sus gustos, inquietudes y hay una comunicación fluida. Ambos se entienden y se aprecian ¡son amigos! Y esto es ya mucho decir.
Es muy triste escuchar a ese muchacho que contempla embelesado a una señorita brillante y dice: "¡Qué extraordinaria! Si yo no estuviera comprometido... Si no me hubiera atado. . .".
"El noviazgo tal cual se realiza en esta época es una farsa e hipocresía con la cual el enemigo de las almas tiene más que ver que el Señor. Si en algo se necesita el buen sentido es en esto, pero el hecho es que éste tiene poco que ver en el asunto" (ibíd., págs. 447, 448). No hay razones valederas para plegarnos a las filas de los que se engañan mutuamente llamándose novios, aunque saben que están muy lejos del matrimonio.
Si todos cometen un error, no lo hagas tú, y en el futuro no tendrás que lamentarte de ellos ni tendrás momentos de melancolía al recordar tu carrera romántica.
Cuando hayas definido tu relación con Dios y tu vocación, cuando ya tengas las armas para lanzarte a conquistar la vida desarrollando tus capacidades al máximo, cuando pienses que ya estás listo para formar tu hogar, entonces deja de buscar buenos amigos y piensa cuáles serían los mejores esposos. De allí en adelante puedes decir que buscas un novio.