Sex: the naked truth
Friday, March 6, 2009 at 9:44AM
Nearly half of all young adults in the Adventist Church are ignoring no-sex-before-marriage and safe-sex messages -- and that's the naked truth.What the research says?
The 1997 Valuegenesis: Young Adult Study (of youth aged 19-24) reveals that 44 per cent of young adults attending Adventist churches have engaged in premarital sex at least once, and more than half (54 per cent) did not use contraception. The major reason for the non-use of contraceptives? A lack of forethought.
The 1993 Valuegenesis: Adolescent Study (of youth aged 12-18 in the Adventist Church), shows 15 per cent of adolescents in Years 11 and 12 have engaged in premarital sex at least once. So if you¹re a young person, please consider the following.
What the experts say?
Three experts were asked their opinions for the "Sex: worth the wait?" issue of The Edge, last year. Dr Percy Harrold, health director for the South Pacific Division, sees a lot of people in committed relationships (where sex is involved) with problems. "It ends up being that a so-called 'committed relationship' can be for only one week or one year, rather than being forever," he said.
Judith Mazz, a chaplain at Sydney Adventist Hospital, says sex isn't even a good basis for a lasting marriage. "Sex isn't love and it isn't intimacy. A couple first need to connect emotionally, socially, intellectually -- and spiritually."
And Dr Norman Young, senior lecturer in theology at Avondale College, cautions that sexual pleasure shouldn't be pursued for its own sake: "The ancient moral philosophers tended to think of sex purely for reproduction. But when Paul speaks of our sexual responsibility to our spouse, he says nothing about offspring! Paul viewed sex as having a purpose beyond reproduction."
What your peers are saying?
A theology student, also at Avondale College, says he believes the Adventist Church never fully explains to young people why premarital sex is bad. "The only reason we give for not having premarital sex is, 'because God says.' We never say it hurts and has long-term effects."
And a tertiary student in Melbourne says breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend is sometimes a hurtful experience. "And," she says, "it's been proved that this process is even more painful if sex was part of the relationship. I think God wants to save us from experiencing that pain."
What long-term effects, what pain? Try unwanted pregnancy; abortion; social diseases; emotional attachment, embarrassment and guilt.
What the Bible says?
Is sex about guilt? It shouldn't be. Why? Because there's a whole book about it in the Bible. Check it out sometime. It's called Song of Songs -- the erotic diary of King Solomon. (For a spiritual explorers' guide to Song of Songs, visit www.bigquestions.com and click on three.) The theme? "Sex is best if you wait."
If you've never had premarital sex: Great, you're doing the best thing.
Some advice: You may be tempted. Think of what you'll be giving up. You can't get virginity back. Remember, God will help overcome temptation.
Charles Mills, in his book Bible-based answers to questions kids ask about love and sex, asks a newly married couple their feelings on the subject of premarital sex.
Groom: "Because I saw my future wife demonstrate to me that she was able to withstand the sexual temptations of courtship and engagement, I now have more confidence that she'll be able to say no to someone else in the future if the temptation arises."
Bride: "I can trust myself totally to my husband. We can enjoy the relationship God gave us with guiltless abandon."
If you've had premarital sex but stopped: Was it worth it? Were there consequences?
Some advice: Avoid getting into situations where premarital sex might take place. Plan for the best possible future; refuse to be trapped by your past. Remember, God forgives.
If you're having premarital sex: Are you compromising what you truly believe for the relationship? Are you and your partner soul mates (do you share similar interests, temperaments and approaches to life?), or is the relationship built just on the physical? Do you pray together?
Some advice: Talk things over with God and with each other. Look at what the Bible says. Remember, God wants the best for you. ______________________________
Author: Brenton Stacey, record@a1.com.au, Editorial assistant, The Record.
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