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Dramas-Skits
Dramas-Skits A Gift with No Strings Attached Skit
Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 11:08AM
A Gift with No Strings Attached
(two STRINGERs, stroll up center aisle, excitedly)
STRINGER #1:
This is so exciting! I can't believe ANOTHER gift! Oooh, I love gifts! I love gifts!
STRINGER #2:
You SURE that's why God called us up here? You SURE it's a gift? I mean, what if it's something else? I mean, what if it's more WORK?
STRINGER #1:
What a downer! Do you always have to be such a pessimist? Just THINK of all the wonderful things He has done for us, all the wonderful gifts! Just think of Grace -- dontcha think that is a pretty good gift?
STRINGER #2:
Oh yeah, Grace is good. I definitely like Grace. (yawning) But I definitely don't want any more burdens...
THE LORD:
(meets them at the front) Hello, My children. I have something very special for you today!
STRINGER #1:
(smugly, to #2) SEE! I told you!
STRINGER #2:
(aside, sarcastically) I hope it's a VACATION, or at least a HOLIDAY...
THE LORD:
(produces Golden Apple with a flourish) This is for you, My children...
STRINGERS #1 & #2:
(eyes bugging out, enchanted, gasping) WOW! It's beautiful! I've never seen anything like it before! (Stringer #2 goes to BITE Golden Apple)
THE LORD:
(pulls back Golden Apple) Don't BITE it! This is for remembrance. This is for you to remember Me. To remember that I created you. And it is also a symbol so that you will always remember that someday soon we will be together forever!
STRINGER #1:
(takes Golden Apple, is very moved, very choked up) Thank you, Lord! It is sooooo beautiful. I've never seen anything like it! We love it --
STRINGER #2:
(equally excited) Yeah, we love it! (gets close to inspect the gift)
THE LORD:
(departing) Keep this gift, always. Remember, it is a gift of love. It is a gift of beauty. I made it just for you, and you should ALWAYS take delight in it!
STRINGERS #1 & #2:
We'll remember, Lord! Don't worry! We love it! Wow, it's so beautiful...
THE DEVIL:
(approaches from behind, stands behind Stringers) Bumpkins! Do you think you can take care of the Lord's gift?
STRINGER #2:
(as if he half-heard the devil) You know, maybe you should LET ME take care of the Gift. You are kind of a bumpkin, you know...
STRINGER #1:
(insulted) You've got a lot of nerve. MAYBE you could take care of this Gift, but then again, I don't want to burden you.
THE DEVIL:
Leave it to you two bumpkins. You'll screw it up.
STRINGER #2:
So like, how we gonna take care of the Gift? We're probably going to screw it up. I mean, YOU'RE probably going to screw it up!
THE DEVIL:
You really outta protect the Gift, you know...
STRINGER #1:
(thoughtfully) I guess we SHOULD come up with a way of protecting the Gift.
THE DEVIL:
(dangles a mess of STRINGS before their faces) Try my handy dandy MEMORY TOOLS! No muss, no fuss, why these are foolproof blessings to help you not only OBEY the Lord, but they will help you do even BETTER than He commanded you!
STRINGER #1:
(snatching the strings from the devil) Hey what a great idea!
STRINGER #2:
I don't get it.
STRINGER #1:
Here, take one of these (handing to Stringer #2) and tie it around the Gift -- yeah, make it nice and tight so it won't slip! PERFECT!
STRINGER #2:
(standing back to look at string) I STILL don't get it.
STRINGER #1:
See? The Lord said this Gift was about MEMORY. Now this STRING represents "REMEMBRANCE." Now when we look at this string, we'll remember that the Gift is about remembering!
STRINGER #2:
(nodding head, thinking it over) You know, you may have a point. Yeah, it sure helps toggle MY memory...
THE DEVIL:
(clapping hands) You two are GENIUSES! You are BRILLIANT! The Lord will be SO PLEASED with you guys!
STRINGER #1:
(starting EXIT up center aisle) Here tie another one around -- so we can remember that this Gift is about DELIGHT, like the Lord said.
STRINGER #2:
(EXITING, tying second string to Gift) Yeah, right! Okay, String #1 is for REMEMBRANCE, and String #2 is for DELIGHT.
THE DEVIL:
(following, smiling, laughing) Be CREATIVE! Come on, guys! What about a string for a SIGN! You can think up more, can't ya?
STRINGERS #3 & #4:
(begin coming slowly up aisle from back, as soon as Stringers #1 & #2 begin to exit -- Stringer #3 is carrying a big ball of yarn, delicately, with great reverence)
STRINGER #3:
(begins talking softly, as the Devil says line about "You can think up more, can't ya?" -- starts talking softly, is talking LOUDLY by the time the Devil finishes speaking) This is a great day, my son! Finally I am able to pass this Gift from the Lord to you.
(Stringers #1-#4 should pass each other, Stringers #1 & #2 are quiet, but MIME talking, and continue to tie more strings to Golden Apple -- the Devil stops, watches #1 & #2 fade away, and then swings about to follow Stringers #3 & #4)
THE DEVIL:
I gotta tell ya, guys -- and hey, I'm being STRICTLY HONEST here, you know me -- but you guys are EVEN MORE BRILLIANT than your parents, and your grandparents, and your great grandparents! I truly consider it a blessing to be able to know you all so intimately!
STRINGER #3:
(arriving at front, holds up Ball of Yarn for all to admire) My son! This is the great Gift from our God. Isn't it beautiful? Isn't it glorious?
STRINGER #4:
(stares at Ball of Yarn with comical confusion, blinking) Um-um-er, ah, Dad? This is the Great Gift from God?
STRINGER #3:
(sternly) Be careful son, because this is a Gift of Great Seriousness. In fact, take a string from my pocket, please! Good! Now tie it around the Gift.
(holds ball out for tying, Stringer #4 ties on a string, but is obviously annoyed with the effort)
Yes, thank you, son, that is perfect! Now let's see -- please open the Book, my son...
STRINGER #4:
(sighs loudly, is greatly bored, and isn't appreciating ANY of this -- riffles through pages and gets WAY BACK to end of book, looks up last entry) Okay. This would be String #8,952.
THE DEVIL:
IS THAT ALL! You slackers! Lazybones! (looks very sternly at the both of them, then breaks into huge smile, claps happily) You guys are the BEST!
STRINGER #3:
Yes, String #8,952 represents the Great Seriousness we must take whenever talking about the Gift!
THE DEVIL:
(very proud, crossing arms on chest, beaming) Ahhh, String #8,952, the Great Seriousness -- not to be confused with String #1,227, the Great Gravity whenever THINKING about the Gift -- I'll tell ya, the best, really, truly the best, the best the best the best....
STRINGER #4:
Dad, maybe Suzie outta take over the Gift -- you know, she's ALWAYS been more serious than me...
STRINGER #3:
(with great ceremony hefts the Ball up and sets it in Stringer #4's arms) Sorry, son. It's YOURS. (he looks strangely relieved to be free of the Gift, and makes great show of dusting off hands) And remember, it's a thing of DELIGHT!
STRINGER #4:
(having a difficult time holding both the Ball and the Book, is weighed down heavily by the Gift, and speaks in utter depression) Thanks dad . . . String #2, DELIGHT. Yeah. Thanks. I'm REAL delighted...
STRINGER #3:
(starting EXIT) You'll see son. There is great satisfaction in serving the Burden -- uh, er, GIFT! (looking up at the sky in fear) I mean, the GIFT!!! There is GREAT satisfaction in serving the GIFT!
STRINGER #4:
(EXITING, grimacing at Ball, muttering) I think String Number GAZILLION ought to be FOUR PEOPLE should lug the Gift!
STRINGER #3:
(looking back, maybe agreeing) Hang tough, son, hang tough. And remember: DELIGHT.
STRINGER #4:
(in agony) Remember: DELIGHT...
THE DEVIL:
(chortling, following them, dancing about merrily) What a Lord you serve! What a Lord you serve!
STRINGER #3 & #4:
(in unison) WHAT A LORD WE SERVE... (should almost be to the back of the aisle, and Stringers #5 - #8 begin their ENTRANCE)
STRINGERS #5, #6, #7, #8:
(start pushing HUGE BALL down aisle, like slaves, tormented, weary, HATING every step they take) PUUUUUSH!! (chanting, in rhythm) PUUUUUUSH!!
THE DEVIL:
(following Stringers #3 & #4, immediately switches to follow BIG BALL GROUP) Puuuuush! And remember: DELIIIIIIIIIGHT!
STRINGERS #5-#8:
(terrific show of toil and strain, and lots of PAIN) PPUUUUUUSH! PPUUUUUUUSH!
THE DEVIL:
(clapping in rhythm) What a Lord you serve! What a Lord you serve!
STRINGERS #5-#8:
(moaning) What a Lord we serve! What a Lord we serve!
(they arrive at front, collapse away from HUGE BALL, exhausted, panting)
STRINGER #5:
Serve the gift. (gasp, gasp) Remember String #2 million five hundred thousand three hundred thirty-two: The Joy of the Ball makes me Peppy!
STRINGER #6:
(wiping face with handkerchief) No -- no... Wrong... (gasp, gasp) "The Joy of the Ball makes me Peppy" is #2 million five hundred thousand three hundred FORTY two...
STRINGER #7:
OH BIG DEAL! If I hear another quote from the Book of String Numbers my head is going to explode!
(the others are shocked, they gape at Stringer #7)
STRINGER #8:
(producing string) Who has the book? We gotta add a new string! This one should be "No talk of Exploding Head after Pushing the Gift!"
STRINGER #5:
(producing Book, a MUCH BIGGER BOOK) That's a good one! Remember #2: DELIGHT!
STRINGER #6:
(flexing sore arms) And the next String should be: "The Gift Must be Moved with a FORKLIFT!"
THE DEVIL:
BRILLIANT! I thought your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great (takes DEEP breath) great-great-GREAT grandparents were GOOD, but you guys are the STRINGIEST OF THEM ALL!
STRINGER #7:
That's IT! I'm sick and tired of this. I'm sorry, but I don't take ANY delight in this. It's a big joke. This ball is HUGE. And it doesn't smell too good!
STRINGER #8:
Whoa, buddy, you just went and twanged String #9,205, "No Mention of the Smell of the Gift."
STRINGER #5:
Not to mention String #1 million five hundred and --
STRINGER #6:
(interrupting, violently, pointing to Stringer #7) -- I agree with HIM! I'm sick and tired of it all! What kind of God would give us a present like THIS (stabbing a finger at HUGE BALL)...
THE DEVIL:
(sincerely, with love) I gotta admit, I've asked that question of myself, MANY times, and I think you all otta give it some serious consideration...
STRINGER #8:
You know the String Number about stoning -- you both deserve DEATH!
STRINGER #5:
Yeah, you both deserve death!
STRINGER #6 & #7:
(squaring off with their enemies over the HUGE BALL of String) Yeah? Huh? You two think you can take us?
STRINGER #5 & #8:
(looming angrily toward their enemies, clenching fists) The LORD is on OUR side! You Anti-Strings!
THE LORD:
(entering) STOP IT! All of you!
(stunned silence, everyone backs away from the BALL, they all look guilty and can't meet the Lord's eyes)
THE DEVIL:
(after a long silence) Party pooper.
THE LORD:
What are you all doing? (looking at each one of them) Why are you fighting? (looks down and finally sees BALL) AND . . . WHAT . . . IS . . . THIS?
STRINGER #5:
Its the Gift, Lord. The precious Gift of Delight that You gave us, Lord.
THE DEVIL:
Yeah, who in the world does He think He is, anyway? You guys have kept it safe all these years, not Him! You've memorized EVERY string, and you've kept the strings, and honored them!
STRINGER #8:
It belongs to US, Lord! And I wish you'd move away from the strings, Lord. You're making me nervous...
THE LORD:
(kneels at BALL, readies His hands to rip open the BALL) This . . . is . . . NOT . . . the . . . Gift . . . that I gave unto you.
THE DEVIL:
(excited, angry) Get Him! Stop Him! He's going to hurt the Strings!
STRINGER #5 & #8 & DEVIL:
(chaotic, speaking at once) Cut it out! Leave it alone, Lord! Back away from the Ball! Stop it, I'm serious, get away! (they loom threateningly over the Lord)
THE LORD:
(raises His hands, immediate silence, all cut off at once, He looks about at them, first the Stringers, and finally at the Devil -- He snaps His fingers at the Devil who snarls but moves quickly away to watch from a distance)
I made a Gift for you, because I love you. I did NOT create YOU so that you would have to SERVE this gift. I gave you a GIFT, not a burden.
(He again turns to BALL and rips it open -- immediately all present grab their noses, groaning because of the stink, even the Lord turns His head aside in revulsion)
(looks at the Stringers) What in the WORLD were you thinking? (with reluctance He looks inside the BALL and reaches in His hand)
(He comes up with Golden Apple, holds it high for all to see -- the Stringers gasp, and smile at the dazzling Gift)
THIS IS WHAT I GAVE YOU.
(they gasp again and stare at the Golden Apple with adoring eyes)
The choice is yours, My children. You can either accept this Gift that I prepared for you, a Gift which is a symbol of my Grace, My Rest -- or you can accept THIS (looking with disgust at Huge Ball of String) -- a worthless collection of stinking strings, your man-made rules...
THE DEVIL:
(moving up close behind Stringers #5 & #8) THINK of all your hard work! THINK of how you worked to memorize all the strings! THINK what a waste your lives will be if you give up your strings now!
STRINGER #5:
(moving to HUGE BALL, touching it lovingly) String #1, for Remembrance.
STRINGER #8:
(joining Stringer #5, loving taking hold of HUGE BALL) String #2, DELIGHT...
(they sadly pick up HUGE BALL and struggle away, EXITING)
THE DEVIL:
(following, snickering) SUCKER!
THE LORD:
(offers the Golden Apple to Stringer #6) This Gift has always existed and will always exist, and it is always for you, from Me, with love...
STRINGER #6:
(sadly, turning away) I'm sorry Lord. I've had enough with gifts. I think I want to do this life my own way, okay... (slowly walks away)
THE LORD:
(turning to Stringer #7) This is your gift, My child, but I will not force you to take it, in the same way I will not force you to accept My Grace...
STRINGER #7:
(smiling hugely) YES! I accept ALL your Gifts, Lord, ALL of them! (takes the Golden Apple)
THE LORD:
(places arm about Stringer #7, and they begin EXIT) As you accept My Gifts, My child, I can give you more!
STRINGER #7:
(beaming) YES, Lord, ANYTHING You give me is good! Bring on the gifts, Lord!
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