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Dramas-Skits
Dramas-Skits Fruit of the Vine Skit
Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 11:11AM
Fruit of the Vine(Husbandman and Gardener enter carrying large plant -- third actor plays plant)
HUSBANDMAN:
That looks like a great place right up there.
GARDENER:
Perfect. We'll plant him there where he'll get lots of sunlight and moisture. The perfect place.
(They move the plant to the front and place it upright, stretching out its arms, tamping down the dirt around its feet.)
GARDENER:
Okay, little plant, you grow and grow, and make us proud.
HUSBANDMAN:
Oh yeah, this one will produce tons of fruit. You just wait and see.
GARDENER:
Let's get those other plants dug in before summer gets here. (then speaks to new plant) We'll be back to check on you. You just keep thinking about me, okay?
(They exit.)
PLANT:
(bored, it yawns, glances around, looks at its raised hands, and then whistles a little, yawns again)
HUSBANDMAN:
(returning) Well let's see how well our new plant is getting on...
GARDENER:
Oh I'm sure it's doing great.
(They see the plant. The plant ignores them, bored.)
HUSBANDMAN:
Well, this doesn't look good.
GARDENER:
Don't worry, I'll devote some extra time to it. It's going to pick up, you'll see.
HUSBANDMAN:
Oh well, I'll meet you over at the other acre . . . some harvesting to get done down there. (exits)
GARDENER:
Come on, little plant. Concentrate on me. As long as you focus on me, you will live. (pets and grooms the plant's hands) I'll see to it that you get all the best nutritional supplements, the best soil -- you just focus on me, okay?
PLANT:
(smiles, the grooming feels great)
GARDENER:
I'll be back soon! Now just keep focused. (exits)
PLANT:
(concentrating focusing suddenly looks down, moves a hand and removes a tiny cluster of grapes from its belly the plant hangs out the cluster and is quite pleased with the fruit, smiling and looking very self contented, very proud of the tiny fruit)
GARDENER:
(returning) Oh look! Now its on the right track look, FRUIT!
HUSBANDMAN:
(looking over the fruit dubiously) Yes, but pretty tiny. Pruning shears!
They produce scissors and begin working away on the plant, pruning away useless twigs and foliage.
PLANT:
(outraged, looking on with horror as they cut away on him -- the plant howls in pain and frustration) Owww! OUCH! OOOOOH! OOOWWW! Ouch! OOOOWWWW!
(They finish, nodding, and exit.)
GARDENER:
(calls over shoulder) Concentrate, little plant. FOCUS!
PLANT:
(looks a little dubious, then reaches into belly and produces bigger cluster of grapes! The plant is amazed, comparing the tiny fruit to the large fruit now he is not so proud, but more amazed that this came out of himself! After a moment, he produces a larger, even more impressive cluster of grapes he smiles hugely and places the largest fruit in his teeth, and stands heavy with fruit)
GARDENER:
(entering, very excited) Well look who has flourished after the pruning!
HUSBANDMAN:
(gathering the fruit) Wonderful! I'm very proud of you little plant.
GARDENER:
(gathering the fruit) Now this plant has finally given over, and is now abiding in us!
HUSBANDMAN:
Shall we move him to the garden at our mansion?
GARDENER:
That's just what I was thinking!
(They dig the plant up by the roots. The plant is shocked, for suddenly he realizes he is not a plant anymore!)
PLANT:
What in the world? What did you do? I can talk now! You made me real! I'm not even a plant anymore!
HUSBANDMAN:
(hugging the plant) Silly! A plant. Imagine that. You're our son!
GARDENER:
(escorting the "plant") Come on, we have so much to show you! You have a whole new world to discover. Now you will abide with us forever.
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