in 
Dramas-Skits
Dramas-Skits Baby at the Burning Bush Skit
Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 11:14AM
Baby at the Burning Bush
(person at front, burning, crackling, in the guise of a burning bush, turning, roaring, on fire, fingers crackling up high in the air, mouth emitting the roar of the fire, animated and amazingly afire)
BURNING BUSH:
(crackling, burning, spitting out fire, twisting in flame, but not consumed)
CAROLENA:
(arrives, drawn by the burning bush, stands gawking in awe) WHOA! I've NEVER seen anything LIKE IT! It's incredible!
BURNING BUSH:
Crackle-crackle, swoosh, crackle crackle! (twisting, on fire, burning, flashing flames, burning intensely hot, but never quite consumed)
CAROLENA:
I'm telling ya! I've never seen anything like it! I wish I had my camcorder! This is something for the X-files! Strange and Inexplicable Phenomena! St. Elmo's Fire, or something!
BURNING BUSH:
CAAAAAAAROOOOOOOOOLEEEEEEENA!
CAROLENA:
(startled, beyond belief) HUH? What in the world? What is this? Bloopers and Practical Jokes? Candid Camera? (looking around for the hidden camera)
BURNING BUSH:
(whirling about, flames cease, pointing finger straight at her) CAAAROOOLENA!
CAROLENA:
(shocked, standing back, terrified) Okay! Yeah-OKAY-Yeah-It's-ME! I'm here! What do you want?
BURNING BUSH:
(crooking finger to bring her closer, she steps a few steps, crooks finger again until she is much closer, then loudly:) Take off your shoes! Carolena!
CAROLENA:
(puzzled) I don't know, I just picked these up at Mervyns, and they weren't cheap, I can tell you that!
BURNING BUSH:
(commanding) Take off your shoes, Carolena! The ground on which you stand is HOLY GROUND.
CAROLENA:
(hastily kicking off shoes) Okay-Okay! There, bare feet! No shoes, see?
BURNING BUSH:
(nods, good, finally, she's being obedient) I have a job for you, Carolena.
CAROLENA:
ME? I think you've made a mistake.
BURNING BUSH:
(flaring bright, swelling huge) I DON'T MAKE MISTAKES!
CAROLENA:
Okay-Okay. You've got a job for me! So what, like, do you want me to distribute pamphlets door to door? Visit the elderly?
BURNING BUSH:
(getting exasperated) No. You will do a great work for me, Carolena! You are going to go into the land of the enemy, and you are going to deliver my people!
CAROLENA:
(flabbergasted) No. Nope. Uh-uh. No way, Hosea! You're crazy, it ain't ever going to happen! (reaching for shoes) I'm just going to get my shoes --
BURNING BUSH:
(interrupting, angry) SILENCE! I said you're going to deliver my people, and you are going stop arguing with me!
CAROLENA:
(pleading, near tears, knees knocking) But listen, okay! Please! You see, I'm not the best person for this! See, I inherited this condition from my mom, see? She can't talk in front of groups of people! Her heart goes crazy, and I've got that too, I mean I'm breaking out in a sweat just thinking about it! I can't get up in front of all them strangers, no way, I'm the worst possible pick for a job like that! You've exceeded my comfort level and there's just no way --
BURNING BUSH:
(stepping forward) THAT'S ENOUGH! I know you. I know everything about you. All of your strengths. All of your weaknesses -- and YES, you DO have a lot of weaknesses.
And I know you are a sinner. Yes, quite a sinner.
But I choose you. Even though you have sinned, you can still serve me. I have a work for you that YOU can do best!
CAROLENA:
Uh. Well. Um, er, uh -- okay. If you say so. Okay. But let me just look through my daytimer here (opening up calendar book) just to see when I'm available.
Oops. This week isn't good, because I have to have my hair done tomorrow, and let's see -- yup, a lunch with my girlfriend the next day, and a doctor's appointment, hmmm, and next week -- oh boy --
BURNING BUSH:
(looking on, peeking over top of calendar, puzzled, with a growing sense of exasperation -- WHAT KIND OF PETTY EXCUSES ARE THESE, ANYWAY?!)
CAROLENA:
-- and the next week is just as full, but if we flip over to the new year, I think I could squeeze in --
BURNING BUSH:
(finally had enough) CLOSE THAT BOOK! I didn't say you were going to go tomorrow, or next day, or next week, or next month or year!
TODAY IS THE DAY YOU WILL SERVE ME!
(pregnant pause)
(pointing commandingly toward the land of the enemy) Now, GOOOOO! Carolena! GOOOOOO! Deliver my people!
CAROLENA:
(rubbing tummy) Oh, ooooh, well, I haven't eaten today, and I'm really starving...
BURNING BUSH:
No. Carolena. GO! I will feed you!
CAROLENA:
(thinking desperately) Uh, well, you know I haven't walked the dog today and my husband won't be getting home for several hours, and there's going to be a huge accident if I don't go and walk him right --
BURNING BUSH:
No. GO! My grace is sufficient for you.
CAROLENA:
(finally, reluctantly, agrees, nodding head) Okay. Okay. Okay-okay-okay. (points down at feet and shoes)
BURNING BUSH:
Yes, yes. You may put on your shoes.
CAROLENA:
(puts on shoes, starts exiting)
BURNING BUSH:
And Carolena? Serving me will be the most fulfilling and satisfying thing you will ever do in your life.
CAROLENA:
(nodding, exiting, still doesn't seem all that pleased)
BURNING BUSH:
Oh, and Carolena?
CAROLENA:
(stops, turns around, is a little miffed) Yes?
BURNING BUSH:
You might want to try smiling once in a while. It exercises the muscles of the face, and it makes you look a lot brighter, and prettier.
CAROLENA:
(gives big fake wall-to-wall toothy smile, but then as she turns away the smile becomes warm and real, so glad, so excited to be serving God -- EXITS)
Reader Comments